self confidence - Leah Benson Therapy

[vc_row css_animation=”” row_type=”row” use_row_as_full_screen_section=”no” type=”full_width” angled_section=”no” text_align=”left” background_image_as_pattern=”without_pattern”][vc_column][vc_row_inner row_type=”row” type=”full_width” text_align=”left” css_animation=””][vc_column_inner width=”2/3″][vc_column_text]You want self confidence? That solid feeling of trust in who you are, what you can do, and the decisions you make? Here’s how you get it:

You set aside all the negative beliefs you have about who you are, what you can do, and the decisions you make.

[/vc_column_text][vc_separator type=”transparent” up=”10″][vc_column_text]Simple. Just kidding.

You could try talking yourself out of the problem. But I’ll bet you’ve already tried that and you know that talking yourself out of a lack of confidence only works sometimes. And in most cases, not for very long.The trick is figuring out how to set aside the beliefs that are holding you back from confidence for good.

So, what do you do?[/vc_column_text][vc_separator type=”transparent” up=”10″][/vc_column_inner][vc_column_inner width=”1/3″][vc_single_image image=”800″ img_size=”full” alignment=”center” qode_css_animation=”” css=”.vc_custom_1490642589762{padding-top: 5px !important;padding-bottom: 5px !important;}”][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_column_text]

Determine what’s holding you back

First, you have to figure out what negative beliefs you’ve got in operation that are holding you back.

You’re not going to like this part because it means you’re going to have to admit some things to yourself that you aren’t going to want to admit. Those things are going to be stuff like,

  • I wish someone would take care of me.
  • I want more attention.
  • I want to be the most special.
  • I don’t want to work for what I get, I just want it to come to me.
  • Whatever. There are a lot of possibilities.

[/vc_column_text][vc_separator type=”transparent” up=”10″][vc_column_text]It will take a while to find these thoughts because you will have to fight your rational mind that says, no way do I think that kind of thing. You’ll have to pay very close attention to your feelings. And those feelings are hidden. Because they are shameful, babyish, humiliating feelings to realize you have as an adult. They are the feelings that got you ridiculed as a kid, and make you ridicule or hate people for having them now. Including yourself. Once you face the fact that you feel weak, babyish, unworthy, bad, or whatever it is, you will know what’s under your lack of confidence.[/vc_column_text][vc_separator type=”transparent” up=”10″][vc_column_text]

Develop a new voice

Then, you develop a voice within yourself (an authority) with a different set of beliefs about any and all feelings you might have. Now, or ever.

This is usually easier when you’ve put someone else in charge of your emotional life for a while first. (Like a therapist.) That’s because it’s really hard to override the already well-established, punitive, authority in your head on your own.

Practical application of establishing a new belief system is done by experiencing your “unacceptable feelings” in a conscious way without judgment over and over and over again. That’s how it’s done.

Questions? Call me. We’ll talk.

p.s. Want to learn a lot more about improving your self confidence? You can visit EmotionalSuccessTampa.com and download the introduction to my book Emotional Utopia.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]

Share this article

Share on facebook
Facebook
Share on google
Google+
Share on twitter
Twitter
Share on linkedin
LinkedIn
Share on facebook
Share on google
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin

SEARCH

CATEGORIES
Emotional Utopia Book by Leah Benson, Tampa Licensed Psychotherapist

Get your anger under control today with an experienced anger management counselor.