Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.
Quote by James Baldwin
Isn’t There an Easier Path?
I know you want to move forward, to feel joy, and to be happy. The idea of feeling pain and old feelings seems stupid, I agree. If there were another answer, I would have done it myself, I promise you.
The only healthy and long-lasting way to the pleasure, happiness, and emotional satisfaction you want is through gaining the strength and skills to handle your feelings in a new way. Actually, you won’t be handling your feelings at all, because you won’t need to handle them. They will simply exist.
The Best Version of Yourself
When you have spent most of your life getting rid of certain emotions through the use of self-talk, willpower, and chronic muscular contractions, you are probably convinced that you don’t have certain feelings. The mind’s tricks and rationalizations I talk about in chapter two of Emotional Utopia, are part of the reason you are a successful, socially acceptable person. Unfortunately, they are also holding you back from being the best version of yourself that you can be.
If too much feeling is your problem, then strategies such as mindfulness and breathing techniques to manage your feelings and problematic behaviors have probably been helpful. You may have read self-help books or Googled ways to manage this or that emotional state. Techniques are definitely important for use in temporary situations. Sometimes, their benefits even last a while, but ultimately, they are doomed to fail. It’s not that you aren’t trying hard enough. Handling your feelings is not a matter of willpower. Willpower cannot overcome your unconscious mind indefinitely.
No matter what tricks you are using to avoid knowledge of certain feelings in consciousness, rest assured your body is still containing them. And the beliefs they fuel are causing you to act in ways that you cannot control. This has been happening all your life, but you don’t see it. You can’t because that’s what unconscious means.
Do you want to be happy? Then, why put off your lasting happiness any longer?
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