Obviously, I can’t tell you the exact story of why you have anxiety. You have a unique story.
But the truth is …
You probably can’t tell ME the exact story of why you have anxiety either. And that is part of the solution. But more of that later.
What I CAN tell you is what’s going on in your body and mind and how you can deal with it.
What’s Going on in Your Body and Mind in Anxiety
Whether you experience anxiety as racing thoughts, the inability to make decisions, poor sleep, heart palpitations, constant worry, tense muscles, irritability, restlessness, agitation, avoiding social situations, or irrational fears; the same thing is going on in your body.
You are stuck in a high energy state that is unpleasant. And you’re telling yourself a story about that state that isn’t helping you feel better; i.e., “I’m anxious.”
What that means is that your body has more energy than is needed for the situation you’re in. And to feel better, you need to spend that energy or breathe in such a way that you slow your heart rate down.
Because, the chemicals and hormones flooding your body in a high energy state are downright useless for the situation you’re in.
Unless of course, you can change the story you’re telling yourself about this unpleasant high energy state and categorize it as, let’s say, determination instead of anxiety. Lisa Feldman Barrett tells the story of her daughter being very anxious about taking her martial arts exam. And her sensei tells her, “Take that energy and put your butterflies in formation!”
Your Mind and Body are One
So, you can see how your mind and body are one; the concepts you construct about the ways you feel, generate your reality.
The Tricky Part of Getting Rid of Anxiety
Here’s the thing. There are many exercises and practices that will help you deal with anxiety. And they work!
But, unless you know the underlying story of why you are anxious, then all the tricks for getting rid of your chronic anxiety will only work for a while. And then stop working.
That’s because eliminating anxiety without getting to the source of the problem is like cleaning up water from a leaky water heater. If you don’t fix the leak, you’re simply going to clean up that mess over and over again.
You have to become aware of your stories and beliefs, before you can do anything about them. Become familiar with how those things make you feel. Then determine if they serve your goals, and if not, practice new ways of dealing with the sensations in your body in different contexts.
So How Do You Figure Out the Underlying Story?
Psychoanalysis is the process of working with a therapist to examine how ‘you do you.’ The therapist builds a model of your mind to understand you, the context you live in, and the important things that have shaped your life. Then they listen carefully to understand what your goals really are and how you are getting in your own way. A good therapist can locate your blindspots and guide you to them at opportune moments. Psychoanalysis, also known as psychodynamic psychotherapy is a place where you practice new ways of dealing with life, based on your goals. The process is unique to everyone, it is not a protocol.
