Let’s face it, improving your self-confidence is not an easy task.
You are going to have to rewire your brain significantly in order to achieve it.
Like getting in shape, changing your brain takes dedication, consistency, and repetition. It also takes persistence and intense emotional experiences. As well as proximity to someone who will be “installing” the right information and guiding you through the right experiences to help you improve your self-confidence.
Getting to the Root of the Problem
Here’s why. Low or no self-confidence comes from years of having information “installed” that led you to believe that your desires and feelings were not legitimate. This brainwashing is usually so good that you don’t even really know it happened. You love your parents and believe that the way they raised you is the reason you are as successful and the hard-working person that you are. And you’re right, parents play a significant role in a person’s adult self-confidence and awareness – both the good and the bad.
The way in which you’re raised can also be the reason you have little or no self-confidence.
Even if you feel good about your abilities or your achievements, you feel like they’re never enough, or never good enough.
You can’t be yourself, or you don’t like the person you are when you’re with other people.
Consequently, you can’t be vulnerable and be your “real” self. Because you gave that up so long time ago you don’t even know you gave it up. And besides, all it ever got you was rejection, shame or humiliation.
As a result, you can fake it usually, but inside, you know your truth. You feel that you know that you are not worthy of attention, praise or congratulations. There is something “off” about you.
How to Change
To change that, you must rewire your brain. Meaning, you need to create new neural pathways. And abandon the old ones that don’t serve you anymore. That is accomplished by having new experiences of acceptance of who-you-are “installed” inside you. You need another person to do that for you. Someone you trust. Someone who shows loving attention and care to you even when you are your “worst.”
Not many experiences exist that provide all the necessary variables in order to change your brain significantly enough to create lasting self-confidence. But one of them is bioenergetic psychoanalysis. Which is a body-based type of psychotherapy.
My book, Emotional Utopia, Stop Searching for Happiness and Start Living It, discusses this process of change in depth.
If you’re interested in building your self-confidence. Give me a call. We’ll talk.
Contact me now to set up your free 15-minute phone consultation.