Relationships are a fundamental and necessary condition for the existence of the contemporary human brain.
You are a social animal, like it or not. You cannot survive your infancy and childhood without other people. And according to research, you will have poorer heath and die at a younger age if you are socially isolated as an adult.
The contemporary human brain.
Since you are a social animal, you have a super complex brain. You have the old, reptile brain at the core. You have the mammalian emotional brain in the middle, also known as the limbic system. And you have the grey matter, the almighty cerebral cortex, which is the contemporary human part.
News flash: The cerebral cortex doesn’t get so mighty if you don’t have positive relationships with your caregivers early in life.
Without eye contact, facial expressions, vocal tone and touch that are soothing and “regulating,” a baby’s brain in not going to develop optimally. You won’t be as smart. You won’t be as able to manage your feelings well. And you won’t get along with people well.
You need other people.
It is not a weakness to need other people. It is a fundamental and necessary condition of being human. Even if you’re completely self-sufficient in every other way, you cannot live a healthy, happy life in social isolation.
Like cells in our brain, people wither and die in isolation. Nothing makes this more clear than the darkest possible outcome of isolation–suicide. It is the burden of unbearable shame and isolation that makes someone take their life. And when others are present to know and validate the pain or the needs that feel overwhelmingly burdensome alone, people move away from the brink of suicide.
Your long term health and longevity are deeply related to your connections with other people, old and new. So make no mistake about it. You need other people.
If you feel like you don’t have anyone, let’s talk. I’ll help you explore why not, and how you can change that.
Call me for your complimentary fifteen-minute phone consultation.