You Are a Model of Beliefs: The Science of Self and Emotional Growth

How Your Beliefs Shape Your Sense of Self and Emotional World

What if I told you that you are a collection of beliefs, shaped by evolution and your earliest experiences? 

It’s a wild idea, but it’s actually at the heart of how your brain/mind makes sense of who you are and how you fit into the world. In a recent discussion with a colleague, I explored how these beliefs, formed over evolutionary time and elaborated during your experience in life, influence everything from the shape of your body, to your emotions, your perceptions, and your relationships. 

By understanding your self-concept in this way, you can start to reshape some of these beliefs and live with more freedom. Let’s break it down.

Your Brain and Body as a Belief Machine

According to the world’s most cited neuroscientist, Karl Friston, and author of the free energy principle, your brain and body don’t just hold beliefs—they are a model of beliefs, built from patterns (i.e. statistical regularities) passed down through evolution, and encountered in the womb and the world as you develop.

A quick aside: In this discussion a “belief” is the representation of your brain’s or evolution’s best guess about how to best fit with the world. So, for instance, the shape and function of your hand is the representation of the belief of humans as a species over evolutionary time that the best way to stay prepared for the twists and turns that humans will encounter during their lifetimes is that shape. Same for the rest of your morphology and physiological functioning.

Now, back to something more presently relevant. Think of a toddler saying “no” for the first time. That’s their brain testing a new belief: “I’m a separate self with my own wants.” If their environment—parents, caregivers—accepts this, they grow confident in their self-concept. But if that “no” is shamed or dismissed, it can lead to patterns like people-pleasing or feeling disconnected from yourself.

In the discussion, I talked about how these early interactions create what’s called “character structure.” This is a tool used by therapists in bioenergetic analysis. For example, some people develop loose self-concept “packages” that feel vague or undefined, leading to the experience of a diffuse sense of self and a feeling of having to work hard to hold themselves together.

Others might develop self-concepts that revolve around the beliefs of having to be willful or manipulative to exist  because the environment didn’t support their early independence. These beliefs aren’t set in stone—they’re hypotheses your brain tests to survive and thrive.

Why Your Self-Concept Matters

Your self-concept is like the lens through which you see the world. If your early environment taught you that asserting yourself is unsafe or ineffective, you might carry unconscious beliefs like “I need to please others to be okay.” Unbeknownst to you, these beliefs can fuel anxiety, reactivity, or even depression. 

But here’s the good news: by becoming aware of these beliefs, you can update them. This is where emotional awareness comes in—by noticing how your body feels when you are upset, you can start to uncover the hidden beliefs driving you.

For example, if you feel tense in a conflict, that tension might signal a belief that “disagreement means rejection.” By pausing to explore that feeling and idea, you can question them and choose a new behavior, like asserting your needs calmly. This process builds and broadens your self-concept, ultimately helping you feel more competent and comfortable.

How to Update Your Beliefs

Here are some practical steps to reshape your embodied self-concept:

• Notice Thought Patterns: When you feel upset, ask, “What belief am I defending right now?” It might be something like, “I’m not good enough.”
• Notice Your Body: Focus your attention on physical sensations (like a tight chest) to avoid getting caught up on stories in your head that do not serve your purpose in the moment.
• Update the Belief: Challenge an old belief with a new one, like, “I can be myself and still be loved.” Practice this in small moments daily. Do it enough times and the system will begin to act as if it’s true – and it will be.

By questioning and updating your beliefs, you’re not just changing how you feel—you’re reshaping your self-concept to align with who you want to be.