You might agree instinctively that being deeply loved gives you strength. But does it really? And why?
First off, let’s think about the word love for a moment. What do you mean when you say love? What did the person who wrote this quote mean?
There are so many possibilities as to the meaning of the word that, honestly, it’s not worth getting into.
So, what’s the spirit of the quote? What is that thing that gives you the strength that the writer attributes to being deeply loved?
Where we get our strength
To understand what being deeply loved means, we should first look at what makes us strong as humans. Then we can understand what being deeply loved is.
Simply put, you got your foundation of emotional strength and positive self-image from the people who took care of you early in your life. Before you can remember anything that happened to you.
If they cared for you in a non-judgmental, supportive way, you will be resilient and confident. In other words, you will be strong. If not, you you’ll be passive and yielding, or defensive and rigid. You might appear to be strong, but your relationships will be sub-par and you will likely suffer from periods of depression or anxiety and outbursts of anger.
Deep love then, in the spirit of this quote, is being “seen” and “felt” by the intimate people in your life. It is knowing that no matter what you feel, you will be accepted. (Note: this does not mean that all your behavior is accepted. Just your feelings.)
Where we get our courage.
When you think about loving someone deeply as a source of courage, the whole definition of loving changes. It is not in “seeing” and “feeling” someone that you gain courage. In fact, in order to see and feel someone else takes great courage.
That’s because it’s hard to let others feel the way they feel sometimes. We say things to people like, “Don’t be mad.” “Get over it.” And, “Just decide you’re not going to feel that way.”
When you love someone deeply, you will act on their behalf in ways you would not act for a stranger. You will protect your sweetheart and your children in ways you do not protect others.
That’s because fundamentally, you are a deeply social animal. If members of your tribe are in danger, you are in danger. You cannot risk a threat to your survival. If your children are in danger, you will do anything to protect them. It’s the natural instinct of a caregiver.
This is how loving someone deeply brings you courage. Your survival instinct is sparked and you act with courage.
How being loved deeply also gives you courage
If you were loved deeply early on, you will also have the courage to protect and defend yourself in the same way you can protect your loved ones. You will do whatever it takes to make sure you are “seen” and “felt.” You will choose people who can love you deeply. And you will have the courage to leave people who are treating you poorly.
If you don’t have this courage, you might want to explore why not. I’d be happy to help. Give me a call. We’ll talk.
Call me for your complimentary fifteen-minute phone session.