Let me get the hard news out of the way.
If you want better relationships, you are going to have to start taking a good look at yourself first.
The truth is, any change you want to see in your outside world starts with “the self.” Which means, YOU.
- Only YOU can change your perspective on what’s happening around you.
- Only YOU can learn to react differently to the triggers that currently set you off.
- Only YOU can commit to making the deep changes that must occur in order for you to experience life in a new way.
Including having better relationships.
Changing your perspective, learning to react differently, and committing to deep change are not easy tasks. They are difficult and require changing your brain.
Literally. Changing your brain.
That can happen in two ways.
1. Repetition of an experience so many times that an automatic pathway is forged.
2. A lightning bolt of experience that blazes a new pathway instantly.
Since life rarely presents us with the lightning bolts of experience that change us in ways we want, the most reliable way to change your brain is through repetition.
Which is where commitment comes in.
Better relationships will begin when you:
1. Commit to learning how to remain calm in the face of difficult emotional situations.
2. Commit to learning how to keep your heart open and stay kind to someone you love who is lashing out at you.
3. Commit to learning how to discharge excess energy you have that might fuel negative interactions with those around you.
The following are a couple of exercises you can do to get on the road to gaining those skills.
They might seem too simple to make any difference in your life, but rest assured. They are powerful and effective.
1. Lie backwards over a stability ball with your arms over your head and breathe deeply for 3 minutes. Follow this movement with the “grounding pose,” as described below.
2. Stand with your feet shoulder width apart and bend forward at the waist. Let your head, neck and arms hang heavy. Breathe deeply into the floor of your belly for 3 minutes. Finish this pose by rolling up to a standing position slowly, one vertebra at a time.
Do each of these movement 3 times. Complete the sequence by standing with your feet shoulder width apart and breathing into the floor of your belly. Notice the changes in your body that have occurred since you started. This part of the exercise is as important as the breathing and grounding movements you just performed. It integrates the experience.
Integration equals mental health. And a big part of mental health is good relationships.
If you have any further questions or would like to commit to mastering the 3 keys to better relationships, call me. We’ll talk.
p.s. If you want more information about exercises you can do to improve you relationships, feel free to contact me or pick up a copy of my book, Emotional Utopia, Stop Searching For Happiness And Start Living It.
Call me for your free 15-minute phone consultation.