04 Jan Why Can’t I Control My Anger?
If you have ever asked yourself, why can’t I control my anger, then I have some answers for you. The first possibility is that you have never learned any of the “skills” necessary to control it. These can be learned relatively quickly and mastered through practice. The second possibility is that some part of you, (i.e. the unconscious part of your psyche), does not want to control it.
In order to learn and practice the skills necessary to control your anger, you must put the rational, logical, practical part of your brain in gear. If you are asking, why can’t I control my anger, there are at least two reasons why. One, either you have tried and failed, or two, you have not yet found yourself in a situation that required you to learn and practice those skills. And what I mean by that is that you have never gotten into legal trouble or lost a relationship because of your anger, because if you had, you have probably found your way to some “anger management” training.
Now, let’s say you have learned some anger management skills, and for the most part, you put them to good use. What happens when you get stressed out? What happens when you “don’t know what happened, I just snapped?” What happens when you feel justifiably provoked? When your will power is not strong enough to overcome your unconscious mind, what do you do? You lose it. And then you wonder, “why can’t I control my anger?”
If your goal is not only to “control” your anger, but to find that many fewer things incite you to anger, then you must spend the time finding the part of you that does not want to control your anger. You must revisit times when you were justifiably angry and could not express the feeling. You must visit and experience the irrational, illogical, impractical part of your brain and your mind. You must become a master of yourself not by blind will, but by self knowledge and peaceful acceptance. It can be yours. Think this is what you want? Call me. We’ll talk.