As you well know, it’s not okay to take out your frustrations on the world. So, where does that leave you? Probably stuck with so much stress you feel like you’re going to explode. Incidentally, responsible stress relief is something I can teach you. And here’s some insight into how you got into this mess in the first place.
No Place For You To Feel
When you were young you were probably taught, as most of us were, that there was no time or place to let out feelings such as anger, fear, sadness, weakness, or longing. As an infant, you had no filter on emotional responses to the feelings in your body or to external stimuli. Your feelings flowed until you experienced relief.
From as early as four months of age, you received messages about the acceptability of your emotions. Your caregiver might have reacted to emotional displays by ignoring them, ridiculing or threatening you, or manipulating you into stopping them. To develop emotional control, you contracted your muscles and held your body stiff. These contractions might have been massive or incredibly subtle. Over time, the emotion-controlling contractions became automatic, and you became skilled at hiding “unacceptable” feelings.
Now It’s Just The Way You Are
For most people, the message to contain “unacceptable” emotions was frequent and unmistakable. You learned that unless you felt justified, there was no reason to express certain feelings. You gradually convinced yourself that you didn’t have them. This inevitably resulted in the holding back of a ton of feeling, similar to a flooding lake behind a dam. That’s when disaster can strike.
Blowing Up For No Apparent Reason
Surely you can remember times when you blew up at someone for no reason. It was not about the other person, really. It was about an old hurt from long ago that you had no consciousness of at the time of the explosion. The feelings came out, and you had no idea why.
Are you blowing up for no apparent reason? Need to learn some responsible stress relief? Give me a call. We’ll talk and I’ll teach you.
Call me for your complimentary fifteen-minute phone consultation.